Friday, January 13, 2012

Are my mum and dad mean to me?

I don't know what to think or do now. Im 17 years old now and i sometimes feel that my parents are really hard on me. I'd like you to tell me what you think i should do to resolve this or should I move out? From when I was about 13 i used to get the impression that my mum but mostly my dad was too harsh towards me and sometimes too aggressive. He used to occasionally drag me by the hair up the stairs or throw me against a wall or push me to the ground. I know i was young then and was probably in the wrong but i dont feel that i was deserving of such acts. My dad has also punched me in the face twice resulting in 2 black eyes. When people at school ask what happened i dont tell them the truth because i feel that it would be embaring although deep down it really hurts me to think that my dad has went to the lenghts of hitting me in the face. I am a sprinter and sometimes when i am competing my parents will tell "Oh youve ran that race cr*p" and stuff like this when i have genuinely tried. now this doesnt sound like a big thing but its my hobby and i enjoy doing it and when someone tells me that im cr*p at it, it makes me wonder why i bother. Over the past year or 2, i feel my mum has been really unfair towards me. She sometimes throws piles and piles of verbal abuse at me. Her favourite ones are " Youre going to get nowhere in life you big loser" and "You thick sh*t" and "how f*cking stupid are you?" and "whats the point in asking you to do anything, you cant f*cking do it anyway you thick f*ck" I get this quite often now and sometimes i just explode and retaliate back saying things like "cut me some slack" or " what gives you the right to speak to me like that" my dad then walks in and takes my mums side. This then results in an argument with my dad and he then starts to pick a fight with me. He presses his face against mine and says "go on. I dare you" Like a taunt. Like he wants me to hit him so he can hit me back. I have never hit him because of this though. recently they have just been telling me that im a useless f*ck and that they want me to leave the house and find a new home. This is because I dont always perform little tasks such as emptying the dishwasher. 8 times out of 10 i will do it but the times i dont theres always hell to pay. I think now if i wasnt to back down from my dad starting a fight with me, he would happily beat me senseless. I know im 17 and i shouldnt do this but i get really upset and sometimes cry over the fact that my parents treat me this way. It doesnt sound like much but when its everyday, it makes you want to do stupid things and ive got my whole life ahead of me. I just feel that i would be better else where. I am planning to emigrate abroad to get away from all of the fighting when i am older. That kinda shows the extent that this has went to. Somebody please help me. I have university to worry about and current exams. My parents adding all this pressure makes everything 100 times worse and the "abuse" if you like doesnt help at all.

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